Well, let me tell ya ’bout this Assam black tea, the kind they say gives you a kick in the pants. Folks call it a “wakeup” drink, I reckon.

What is this Assam Tea Anyway?

Now, I ain’t no fancy tea expert, but from what I gather, this Assam tea is a black tea. Comes from a place called Assam, I think. They grow it there, like we grow corn in the fields. It’s got this dark color, like strong coffee, and the smell…well, it ain’t like flowers, more like…earthy, you know? Some say it smells kinda malty, like beer, but I wouldn’t know nothin’ ‘bout that.

The Buzz about Caffeine

The big thing ‘bout this Assam tea, they say, is the caffeine. It’s what makes you feel all peppy and awake. They say it’s got more of that caffeine stuff than other teas. More than that green tea, for sure. I tried that green tea once, tasted like grass, didn’t do much for me. This Assam tea, though, it’ll get you goin’.

• Wakes you up good: If you’re feelin’ sleepy, this tea will fix ya right up. Better than a rooster crowin’ in your ear, I tell ya.
• Helps you think: They say it makes your brain work better. Don’t know about that, my brain ain’t worked too good in years, but maybe it’ll help yours.

But, like everything else in life, too much of a good thing ain’t so good. You drink too much of this tea, you might get all jittery and shaky, like a squirrel on a sugar high. And forget about sleepin’ at night! You’ll be starin’ at the ceilin’ till the cows come home. So, go easy on it, y’hear?

Taste and Smell

Like I said, it don’t smell like no flowers. It’s got this strong smell, kinda like…like dirt after it rains, but in a good way. And the taste, well, it’s strong too. A bit bitter, maybe, but not in a bad way. Some folks put milk and sugar in it, makes it sweeter, I guess. Me? I take it straight. No fuss, no muss.

When to Drink It

Now, this ain’t no bedtime tea. You drink this at night, you’ll be up all night, countin’ sheep or somethin’. This is a mornin’ tea, a get-up-and-go tea. Folks drink it for breakfast, gets ‘em ready for the day. Some folks drink it in the afternoon when they start feelin’ tired. But don’t you go drinkin’ it too late, or you’ll be sorry.

A Little Warning from an Old Woman

I ain’t no doctor, but I know a thing or two. Too much of this tea, it ain’t good for your stomach. Might give you a bellyache, or worse. And like I said before, it’ll mess with your sleep. So, drink it smart, y’hear? A cup or two in the mornin’, that’s fine. But don’t go drinkin’ a whole pot of it, unless you wanna be up all night, twitchin’ like a fish outta water.

So, Is It Good or Not?

Well, that depends on what you’re lookin’ for. If you want somethin’ to wake you up and get you movin’, this Assam tea is just the ticket. It ain’t fancy, and it ain’t for everyone, but it does the job. Just remember what I told ya, go easy on it, and don’t drink it too late. And for goodness sake, don’t go givin’ it to the young’uns, they’ll be runnin’ around like wild chickens! Now, you go on and try it for yourself, see if it’s your cup of tea, so to speak.

And one last thing: I hear tell some folks say this here Assam tea can keep you sharp, even if you ain’t had much sleep. Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s a miracle worker, but if you gotta stay awake for a spell, this might be just what the doctor ordered… or maybe not the doctor, but you get my drift. Just remember what your old granny used to say, everything in moderation, even tea.

Tags: [Assam black tea, caffeine, alertness, energy boost, morning tea, sleep, side effects, malty flavor, strong tea]