Alright, alright, let’s gab about these fancy black tea length formal dresses, you know, the kind them city gals wear. I seen some pictures, pretty things they are, not like the stuff us country folk usually wear, but still, a dress is a dress, ain’t it?

So, first off, what’s this “tea length” thing all about? Well, it’s like, not too long, not too short, just right, like where your grandma’s teacups would hit your leg, I reckon. Not dragging on the ground, getting all muddy, you know? That’s good, I say. Who wants to be tripping over their own dress? Not me, that’s for sure.

Now, these dresses, they come in all sorts of fancy fabrics. I heard tell of some called “satin” and “taffeta.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a rich lady’s attic, but they say it makes the dress all shiny and smooth. And then there’s this “glitter” stuff, little sparkly bits all over. Makes a dress catch the light, I guess. Pretty, but probably a pain to clean, if you ask me.

And the shapes! My goodness, they got names like “A-line” and “mermaid.” A-line, that’s probably like a letter “A”, right? Wider at the bottom, so you can move around good. Mermaid, well, that sounds like a fish tail, tight on top, flaring out at the bottom. Probably hard to walk in, but looks fancy, I bet.

• A-line dresses: They say these are comfy and good for dancing. You know, twirling around and such.
• Mermaid dresses: These are the tight ones, hugs your body, then flares out. For showing off, I reckon.
• Midi dresses: Now, these are the in-between ones, not too long, not too short. Just right, like I said before.

Where do you wear these dresses, you ask? Well, fancy places, I guess. Weddings, parties, places where you gotta dress up and look nice. Not like the barn dances we have around here, that’s for sure. But hey, if you wanna wear a fancy black dress to a barn dance, you go right ahead. Ain’t nobody gonna stop ya.

Now, about that black color. Black is good, they say. Makes you look slimmer, and it goes with everything. You can dress it up with shiny jewelry, like necklaces and earrings. Big ones, the kind that dangle and sparkle. And shoes! High heels, they call ’em. Makes you taller, but I bet they hurt your feet somethin’ awful. And a little bag, a “clutch” they call it. Just big enough for your lipstick and a few coins, I guess.

I heard tell you can find these dresses at places like Bloomingdale’s and David’s Bridal. Sounds mighty expensive to me. And there’s other names too, like Alex Evenings and Adrianna Papell. All these fancy stores with fancy names, selling fancy dresses. Makes my head spin, it does.

But you know what? Whether it’s a simple cotton dress or one of these fancy black tea length formal dresses, it don’t really matter. What matters is how you feel in it. If you feel good, you look good. That’s what my mama always said. And she was a wise woman, even if she never wore nothin’ fancier than a cotton housedress.

So, if you’re lookin’ for one of these black tea length formal dresses, go ahead and get one. Just make sure it fits good, and you feel comfortable in it. And don’t forget to dance the night away, even if your feet are killin’ ya in those high heels.

And remember, even a plain Jane can look like a queen in the right dress. It ain’t about the dress, it’s about the woman wearin’ it. You hear?

Tags: Black Formal Dress, Tea Length Dress, Formal Occasion, Evening Gown, Party Dress, A-line Dress, Mermaid Dress, Midi Dress, Elegant Dress, Bloomingdale’s, David’s Bridal, Alex Evenings, Adrianna Papell