Alright, alright, let’s gab about them black tea length wedding dresses, shall we? You know, the kind that don’t drag on the ground like you’re sweepin’ the whole darn barnyard with your backside.

First off, what in tarnation is a “tea length” anyway? Well, it ain’t rocket science, I tell ya. It’s just a dress that hits ya somewhere between your knees and your ankles. Not too short, not too long, just right, like Goldilocks and her porridge, but with a dress, ya see? Perfect for showin’ off them pretty shoes you spent a fortune on, and you won’t be trippin’ over your own skirt all day.

Now, why black, you ask? Well, why not? Who says a weddin’ dress gotta be white like a fresh-washed sheet? Black’s fancy, black’s stylish, and let’s be honest, it hides the dirt better. If you’re clumsy like me, spillin’ gravy on yourself before you even get to the church, black’s your friend. Plus, it makes you look slimmer, and who don’t want that? Lord knows I do!

I seen some pictures of these dresses online – bless my grandson for showin’ me how to use this here computer thingy. Some of ’em are plain and simple, just a nice bit of fabric, maybe a little lace here and there. Others are all decked out with beads and sparkles, like a Christmas tree, but way prettier. You got your sweetheart necklines, your V-necks, some with sleeves, some without. It’s like a whole candy store of dresses, but for gettin’ hitched!

• Sleeves or No Sleeves? That’s the big question, ain’t it? If you’re gettin’ hitched in the summer, maybe go sleeveless, let them arms breathe. But if it’s cold, or you just don’t like your arms much, sleeves are the way to go. Long sleeves, short sleeves, three-quarter sleeves, they got ’em all.
• Lace or No Lace? Lace is pretty, ain’t it? Makes a dress look all fancy and delicate. But too much lace, and you start lookin’ like a doily. Gotta find the right balance, ya know? A little lace goes a long way.
• Sparkle or No Sparkle? This depends on how much you like to shine. A little sparkle can be nice, catch the light just right. But if you’re not careful, you’ll end up lookin’ like a disco ball. And nobody wants that at their wedding, unless you’re that type of gal, then go right ahead.

And let’s not forget the shoes! With a tea-length dress, your shoes are on full display, so you gotta make ’em count. Heels, flats, sandals, whatever you like, just make sure they’re comfy. You’ll be on your feet all day, dancin’ and whatnot, so you don’t want no achin’ feet ruin your big day.

Now, where to find these black tea length wedding dresses? Well, I reckon you can go to them fancy bridal shops, but they’ll charge you an arm and a leg, I betcha. My grandson showed me some websites – A-zay-lee, or somethin’ like that, and another one with a funny name, Maggie So-tero. They got all sorts of dresses, and you can order ’em right from your couch. Just make sure you measure yourself right, or you’ll end up with a dress that fits like a potato sack.

But honestly, the best dress is the one that makes you feel good. Don’t go buyin’ somethin’ just cause it’s trendy or cause some fancy magazine says you should. You gotta feel comfortable, gotta feel pretty, gotta feel like yourself. And if that means a black tea length wedding dress, then you go right ahead and rock it, girl! It’s your day, after all. Don’t let nobody tell you otherwise.

And one more thing, don’t forget to smile! A pretty smile is the best accessory a gal can wear. It don’t matter how fancy your dress is, if you ain’t smilin’, you ain’t gonna look your best. So smile, be happy, and enjoy your weddin’ day. It goes by faster than a greased pig at a county fair!

So, there you have it, my two cents on black tea length wedding dresses. Hope it helped ya some. Now go on and find yourself a dress and get hitched! Just remember, it’s your day and you deserve to be happy, and lookin’ your best!

Tags: [black tea length wedding dress, tea length wedding dress, black wedding dress, short wedding dress, vintage wedding dress, alternative wedding dress, bridal fashion, wedding style]