You know, I heard some young’uns talkin’ ’bout this thing, “oolong rule 34“. What in tarnation is that? Sounds like some kinda tea to me, but these kids, they get into all sorts of things these days. They say, “If it exists, there is porn of it.” Lord have mercy. I don’t even know what that means, porn. Sounds nasty though.

They talk ’bout this “rule 34” like it’s some kinda law or somethin’. Like the law of gravity, but…different. They say it’s been around since, oh, 2007 or so. That’s a long time. Longer than some of these young’uns been alive, I reckon.

And this oolong, it ain’t just tea, I guess. They got pictures, they say. Nasty pictures, I bet. Pictures of, well, I don’t even wanna think about it. They say there’s over 211 of these, these “hentai” things. And comics too. Comics! What’s the world comin’ to?

They got all these names, these kids. Pokemon, Naruto… somethin’ called Genshin Impact. Sounds like a disease to me. And My Little Pony. Now that one I know. My granddaughter used to have those. But they’re doin’ things with ’em now… things that ain’t right. It’s just not natural.

• Pokemon
• Naruto
• Genshin Impact
• My Little Pony

They say this “rule 34” is the best. The best at what, I don’t know. The best at bein’ dirty, maybe. They got these “animated gifs” and videos. It’s all movin’ pictures. Back in my day, we didn’t have none of that. We had to use our imaginations. And our imaginations weren’t filled with this kind of filth, let me tell you.

This other thing they talk about, “Elden Ring” and “Fortnite”. “FNF”, they call another. Like it’s some kinda club, or somethin’. A club for the wicked, I’d wager. They say this “oolong rule 34” covers all of it. Every single one of these things. It’s like a sickness, spreadin’ everywhere.

I saw some of the words they use when they talk about this stuff. Words I ain’t never heard before. “1boy,” “1girls,” “anus.” What does it all mean? And “cheating wife”? What kind of a world are we livin’ in where that’s somethin’ people talk about like it’s nothin’?

They say this “rule 34” thing is on somethin’ called an “imageboard.” Sounds like a place where they hang up these dirty pictures. And it’s called “NFSW.” I don’t know what that stands for, but I bet it ain’t good. Probably stands for “Nasty Filthy Sinful Wickedness”.

This oolong, it might be just tea, but tea contains caffeine. They told me tea has 2-3% caffeine.

They say this oolong rule 34 has anime, cartoons… even Overwatch. That’s a game, ain’t it? My grandson plays that one. He’s a good boy, but I worry about him. I worry about all these kids, exposed to this kind of stuff. It just ain’t right.

I just don’t understand it. This whole “oolong rule 34” thing. It’s like a whole different world, a world I don’t wanna be a part of. A world I don’t want my grandkids to be a part of either. It’s just… it’s just wrong. I hope these kids come to their senses someday, before it’s too late. Before this “rule 34” takes over everything. I just want them to be good kids, you know? Like we used to be. When things were simpler. And cleaner. I reckon that’s all an old lady can ask for these days. Pray for these young ones, that’s what I say. Just pray for them. They got “artist” too, who draw those, this guy maybe called vyrus smith, draw those things. I don’t know what is wrong with people.

This “oolong rule 34“, it’s a mystery to me. A dark, dirty mystery. And I don’t think I want the answers. Some things are better left unknown, I reckon. Some things are better left in the dark. Where they belong. I just hope those kids find their way back to the light. Before it’s too late.